


Shadows of the Past

by oraceon



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Gore, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Horror, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, M/M, Minor Character Death, Psychological Horror
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-06-09 19:23:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15274560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oraceon/pseuds/oraceon
Summary: There are some things in this world that you can never get away from.





	Shadows of the Past

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was originally written for the 2016 round of 12horrors on LiveJournal, the EXO horror fic fest, and I'm just getting round to crossposting it here now with some very minor edits to fix typos etc. The initial writing process was quite rushed and I was on vacation with my family when I wrote a significant portion of it, so please bear this in mind. I'm still quite proud of it though, as I left my comfort zone altogether.
> 
> Please note that I did not personally attend a boarding school; however, I did draw some inspirations for this fic from my own school life, particularly in regards to the school campus itself. Not the murder or homophobia parts, though.
> 
> After missing 2017, 12horrors is returning with a new round this year and it would be great if you guys could send some prompts in and/or perhaps consider writing for this round. As someone who wrote for them previously, I feel obliged to promote them here - not to mention there is a dire lack of horror in EXO ficdom in general, and this fest is actively trying to fix that. Please check out their twitter @12horrors for more information on this year's round!
> 
> That's about it. Enjoy? That may not be the right word. Please be mindful of the tags before reading, take them seriously. You have been warned.

**Ten Years Ago**

 

His heart's beating fast. In desperation, he tries to cling onto the little oxygen left in his lungs. Spluttering, he can feel his consciousness begin to slip away as his face is pushed down, deeper under the currents. The other boy's hand is still firm on his head, but at the moment he can barely register its touch. This is the end, he thinks. He's going to die.

 

"Baekhyun!"

 

All at once he's on the other side, and the bully's head is the one being held underwater. He can hear his cries for mercy, see the veins in his neck tensing just under the surface. But he can't bring himself to stop it.

 

Eventually, the bully's body goes limp, collapsing against the side of the lake. Even at the age of eight, Baekhyun understands the severity of his actions. He just killed someone, and he should feel bad, but strangely, he doesn't. In fact, he feels an odd sense of thrill, a quickened heartbeat, electricity under his skin. Instead of breaking down, feeling frightened of his capabilities, all Baekhyun does is push the bully's body into the lake, before going to get a teacher.

 

**Present Day**

 

"Have you heard? The new kid's finally joining today! He's coming straight from an evening flight to Seoul so he'll only be here after curfew."

 

Chanyeol slides into his regular seat in the dining hall, sitting his tray on the table softly while his brain tries to catch up with the conversation. It's nothing new - the school's been abuzz with rumours and gossip for almost two weeks now. It's almost unheard of for a transfer student to join the school in any year; Chanyeol certainly can't remember anyone doing so in the almost seven years he's spent here, and he's got a damn good memory.

 

Jongdae suddenly begins another vein of theories, predicting that the boy is likely a troublemaker, exiled from city life by society and forced to live in this remote village at the base of the Taebaek Mountains. "He's just the type of guy I'd be friends with," he says, causing jitters and cheers of approval from his friends.

 

"Just friends? You're sure you wouldn't also want his dick up your ass?" Sehun remarks from the side and everyone erupts with laughter, except Jongdae who's defending himself with a whine and Chanyeol, who continues to eat his noodles with a small smile. "What, he  _is_  an American guy. I wouldn't be surprised if he turned up here in makeup and a skirt."

 

Of course, Chanyeol hadn't come out to his friends. He couldn't. But he didn't especially blame them for their attitudes - their parents and the village had moulded their minds that way. He had only joined at the start of secondary school, while all the rest had been part of the village's only school system, the conservative Catholic church schools, since the start.

 

After a while of more jokes and banter, the bell finally tolls for the end of dinner and the start of preparations to go to bed. Despite Chanyeol's best efforts to hurry along, of course he ends up with the one pipe without hot water in the shared shower room for their floor. Gritting his teeth, he gets himself clean as fast as he can before brushing and getting to his bedroom.

 

He goes up two sets of creaky oak steps to get to his room at the end of the hallway, turning the key emblazoned 92 in the lock before rushing in and getting under the covers, the chill of the night air ever stronger after a cold bath.

 

He doesn't sleep, but he hadn't been expecting to. Chanyeol, in particular, has more reason to be anticipating the arrival of the new student. Since there had always been an odd number of boys in his year, and students had to room with one other boy only, there's always one person left alone. This year it had been Chanyeol, and he cursed his bad luck, finding himself frustrated after lights out with nobody to talk to. He's always been a chatty guy, so being forced into isolation like this very nearly drove him insane. Now that it turns out he'll be getting a roommate after all, he can barely sit still.

 

It's a Sunday, and curfew is already very much in place, so Chanyeol has to settle for waiting for his new roommate in their room. He had considered sneaking out to watch the gates like some of the other lads in the year, but he figured if he got caught, it wouldn't be the best first impression.

 

Breaking him out of his thoughts, there's a light knocking at his door. He checks the small plastic alarm clock on his bedside table. It only just turned 10pm, so he has about an hour to get his roommate somewhat settled before lights out. He can feel his heart in his throat when he goes up, going to turn the door handle. When he hauls open the heavy oak door, he's met with the view of a short boy with a dark brown fringe covering his eyes, looking slightly anxious, and holding two dark leather suitcases with the most beautiful fingers Chanyeol's ever seen. There's a mole just under the nail of his thumb, Chanyeol notices, and he tries to remember where he's seen that before when the boy tells him.

 

"Chanyeol?" He seems shocked and, for a second, there may have even been the hint of a smile on his face. "I can't believe this. It's me, Baekhyun."

 

Once he says the name, it all comes back. Growing up together, falling over each other on the playground, the endless hours of laughing and joking their way through detentions. There was a time they were inseparable, best friends until the end. You wouldn't see Chanyeol without Baekhyun there, and vice versa. They'd gone to the same elementary school, but their parents had chosen different middle schools, different futures, in different parts of the world even; and then they had never seen each other again.

 

Seeing Baekhyun in front of him again is a shock to say the least. He's probably an American boy to the core, and Chanyeol wonders if he's at all the same, or whether the years have changed him like they do with most people. Appearance-wise, he definitely has changed. His glasses are gone, his teeth free of braces. He's still considerably shorter than Chanyeol, and the latter is glad for it.

 

But this change in look has something stirring in Chanyeol's chest, something familiar and yet so foreign at the same time, just like the boy in front of him. His face is free of the acne scars littered across Chanyeol's; his skin seeming so soft, almost inviting Chanyeol's touch. He's not sure when it happens, but he's suddenly holding one of Baekhyun's pristine hands between his own fingers.

 

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry," Chanyeol says when he finally realises, but for a moment, he's held in eye contact by Baekhyun, staring at him with glassy, unreadable eyes. Baekhyun makes no move to change their situation, and eventually it's Chanyeol who breaks the tension building up in the room. "So, are you okay with the bed by the window," he stammers, pulling his hand away with a jerk. "I remember you weren't so good with the cold and it can get pretty chilly up here, so if you want me to take that bed I'd be happy to." He laughs awkwardly. Baekhyun watches him silently for a moment before cracking a smile.

 

"It's fine. I'm here to cool off anyways-" he stops, as if he's said too much.

 

Chanyeol pretends he didn't hear it. "Well you got lucky, anyway. This is the only room with a full-on working fireplace. It was a trade-off for not having a roommate, I guess, but now we get both. And in the summers the fire escape is an awesome place to hang." He juts his chin towards the window as he flicks the switch to the antique gas fire on, inviting Baekhyun to sit next to him. "We should get you settled. Do you want me to help you unpack?"

 

He nods, waiting for a moment to bask in the warmth before pulling his bag in front of them and opening it up. Other than a few sets of clothes and shoes, most of the space in the suitcase is occupied by books: almost all non-fiction, ranging from world history to sleep therapy and hypnosis, from sociology to basic mechanics. His yearning for knowledge clearly hasn't gone anywhere, Chanyeol thinks as he sneaks glances at his softly illuminated face from the corner of his eye, until eventually Baekhyun catches his gaze as he does just that. "You haven't changed a bit, Yeol," he says. Chanyeol feels his veins thrum a little at the old endearment.

 

"What's that supposed to mean?" He returns the look, only slightly more sure of himself, more smug.

 

"Well, you're taller. Your voice has gotten a lot deeper and you've lost a considerable amount of baby pudge. But other than that," he looks down, and Chanyeol even swears he sees a faint blush on his cheeks, "otherwise you're just the same. Friendly, sweet. Way too kind for your own good." He looks back into the fire. "I've missed you."

 

Unfortunately, Chanyeol can clearly guess what happened - or what continued happening, rather - in his absence. Even in elementary school, Baekhyun had frequently been the target of bullying, constantly being taunted for his feminine features and soft build, already despite their young age. But at the time, Chanyeol had been there to put his foot in and save him from the attacks, both verbal and physical. He had still been one of the tallest kids in their year, and hardly anyone dared try anything when they saw Chanyeol sticking with Baekhyun always; his taller, stronger shadow.

 

But they'd parted ways. Chanyeol had left Baekhyun alone to face all the hostility himself. He felt guilty about it then, and he does again now. He can't even bring himself to reply.

 

"I did a few years of hapkido, as well as working out a lot after we moved. I got pretty good actually, but it didn't end up mattering with bigger guys in high school. Nothing much mattered to them," He fidgets with his fingers, looking almost ashamed. Chanyeol feels his fists clench at the mere thought of someone laying a finger on him.

 

"You didn't leave because someone hurt you, did you?"

 

He shakes his head. "No. Actually, I was accidentally outed to my parents. I don't exactly understand the logic behind them sending me to an all-boys school away from their eyes," he laughs, completely without humour. "Maybe they were fine with it just as long as they wouldn't have to see it themselves."

 

Chanyeol swallows. If things were hard for Baekhyun before when he was in the closet, they'd only be harder now, especially now that he has to stay in a small, conservative town with stringent Christian values attached to it. Whatever happened in LA, he knows that at this school it would only be worse. Maybe that's why his parents had sent him here - to scare him into being straight.

 

There's also a misplaced sense of satisfaction in the back of Chanyeol's mind when he finds this information out, but he pushes it down quickly.

 

"You can't just let it slip like that, here," he says, an urgent look in his eyes that surprises Baekhyun. "I know it's not ideal, but you'll have to keep it hidden. I don't know what they'd put you through, Baek. I don't want you to get hurt anymore."

 

He's silent for a long moment, as if he's deliberating his words very carefully. Eventually, he turns to Chanyeol, and just as he opens his mouth-

 

"Lights out boys! Get to bed, all of you!"

 

The lights in the room cut out as they always do around 11pm, leaving only the irregular flickers of the fireplace. Baekhyun smiles, biting his tongue. "Goodnight Yeol," he says, before moving to his own bed. Chanyeol pretends not to watch him undress, only just able to make out the silhouette of his figure in the firelight. After a minute, he lies down on his own bed, and he can hear Baekhyun do the same.

 

"Goodnight, Baek."

 

~

 

The next morning, his alarm beeps at exactly 7pm, three times with each tone getting progressively louder. Frowning, Chanyeol turns it off with a large yawn. He sits up slowly, still waiting for the sleep to leave his muscles. During a quick sideways glance, it appears Baekhyun is still asleep. It doesn't surprise him; first the ridiculous amount of flight hours, and of course the journey from Seoul to the Taebaek Mountains is long and tiresome no matter which mode of transport you take. Chanyeol would know, he had taken that same journey so many times himself to return to his family during the holidays.

 

He looks really cute when he sleeps, Chanyeol thinks to himself, unable to stop the smile forming on his face. The alarm buzzes again and he shakes himself into action: standing up and stripping his top off in one swift motion, he opens his small wardrobe and takes out one of his plain white school shirts, hastily buttoning it up before removing his bottoms and replacing them with formal grey trousers. It's only when he's fastening his tie that he notices Baekhyun watching him, silent and unapologetic. Chanyeol feels heat rise to his face but doesn't say anything, gulping air down instead.

 

He steps out to brush his teeth and by the time he's back, Baekhyun's dressed. Being the responsible roommate and good friend he is, he waits for Baekhyun outside the bathroom until he's done with his business, and then they go downstairs for breakfast together.

 

Due to the unexpected delay, the only seats left at Chanyeol's table full of friends are quite a distance apart. Chanyeol is deciding where would be the more comfy spot for Baekhyun as they approach, and only belatedly realises they haven't been introduced when he spots the boys not-so-subtly ogling his old friend.

 

"Everyone, this is Byun Baekhyun. He's my new roommate, and funnily enough, we're childhood friends from elementary school."

 

"Isn't that an amazing twist of fate," Jongin smirks around a spoonful of cereal.

 

Chanyeol ignores Jongin's habitually dry sense of humour and shows Baekhyun to the breakfast spread, suggesting to him the best things to eat and what to avoid at all costs. Having explained thoroughly, he takes his own food and returns to the table. Almost immediately, Jongdae is leaning across the table. "I know you used the word 'he' and everything, but are you sure that's not a girl?"

 

"Yeah, that's one hell of a pretty face for a boy," Sehun mumbles from the other side. "And if you put him in a skirt-"

 

"Shut up," Chanyeol interrupts, and the others stop talking immediately, shocked. The tall boy rarely ever talks to them in anything but a friendly manner, so when he switches to a serious tone like this, they pay attention. "Baek went through a lot of shit growing up for his looks and I'd appreciate if that didn't continue here." He quickly finishes off his toast, wipes his mouth on the napkin, then leaves.

 

Jongdae eyes Baekhyun sitting down at the end of the table with a similarly buttered toast, two small strips of bacon and a fried egg. He turns back to Sehun. "What’s up  _his_  ass today," he mouths to his friend across the table. Sehun just shrugs, before taking another bite.

 

~

 

The first lesson of the day for him is maths, specifically geometry, one of Chanyeol's most loathed subjects. He's good at it, undoubtedly - he's good at almost every subject there is, save for perhaps foreign languages - but it simply doesn't appeal to him. Regardless, it's a required subject and so he endures it while he must. Baekhyun is also there, at a seat much further in front, so all Chanyeol can see of him is the back of his head. Chanyeol devotes his time to studying his mannerisms in place of the teacher's lectures; after all, his new roommate is so much more interesting than another iteration of the Pythagorean Theorem.

 

It's so strange to think that the boy he's got his gaze fixed upon is the same one he grew up with all those years ago. He's as eager as ever, still putting his hand up nearly every time the teacher asks a question, always providing the right answer when chosen. But there's so many things different too. Baekhyun as a child had been a rough and rowdy kid, or maybe that had just been a front to try and hide his vulnerability, or an early form of overcompensation for his lack of brutish masculinity. Now though, he moves with the grace of a ballet dancer completing the same routine for the thousandth time, with featherweight footsteps. Though Chanyeol is aware he is a lot stronger than he used to be, he looks more fragile than ever. Maybe this is a front too, maybe not.

 

When the bell rings for break, Chanyeol catches him on the way out. "Sorry for ditching you back at breakfast," he says, rubbing the back of his neck. He really is regretful for that, but he doesn't think he could've withstood that atmosphere for much longer. He wonders how Baekhyun was able to tolerate it all these years. "You were putting up your hands for almost every question - you must be really smart."

 

"Yeah, well my parents made sure I studied hard," he grins. "I never got on any of the teams, and since I wasn't the most popular kid in high school I ended up with a lot of free time. Which meant more time to st-" He's so engrossed in his conversation with Chanyeol that he doesn't even notice the foot stuck out by a stranger until he's tripped over it.

 

"Baekhyun!" Chanyeol cries, reaching down to grab him by the arm before his entire body hits the floor. He looks up to identify the assailant. Of course. "What the fuck is wrong with you, Yifan?"

 

The tall student puffs out a laugh directly into Chanyeol's face, smelling like cigarettes and cheap alcohol. "Me? Oh, nothing." He looks Baekhyun up and down, who is now shivering slightly in Chanyeol's hold. "Although I can't say the same for you. Might want to watch your ass at night, now that you're rooming with that fag."

 

Chanyeol glares at him, but lets go of Baekhyun's arm, despite himself. The look Baekhyun shoots him then breaks his heart, and by the time he's escaped from the scene despite Chanyeol calling after him, it's likely irreparable.

 

"It seems like I'm already too late," Yifan says. "Pity, Park. You could've had girls all over you." The slightly taller student whistles obnoxiously as he saunters away, slinging his bag over his shoulder. Chanyeol stares after him for a moment with sheer hatred, before running after his roommate.

 

~

 

"Baekhyun, I-"

 

"I'm sorry. I ignored what you said and he found out somehow and I-" the boy begins to sob, holding his head in his hands.

 

Chanyeol kneels down to his level, so they're eye-to-eye. "Hey, it isn't your fault. Yifan's just an asshole. And I didn't do the right thing either. I should've defended you, but I was a coward."

 

Baekhyun shakes his head. "You were protecting yourself, I get it." He wipes his wet cheeks with the sleeves of his sweater. "I need to learn how to do that for myself."

 

Though he doesn't agree, Chanyeol nods, letting his roommate be. He goes to shower, and once he's back Baekhyun leaves to do the same. They wish each other goodnight in what seems like will be a daily routine. At least this, Chanyeol thinks, is something to look forward to each day.

 

~

 

The next day that goes by is uneventful. Chanyeol only shares one lesson again today with Baekhyun, and it's PE. They have to run 4 laps of the field, equating to about 2 miles, in 8 minutes. Chanyeol is just about to scrape the requirement with a time of 7:50, but Baekhyun trails far behind at 11 minutes total. The smaller boy takes a deep inhale from his asthma pump, hands on his knees as he bends forwards slightly, trying to catch his breath.

 

Occasionally, Chanyeol thinks he hears the other boys mocking his roommate for it, but when he glares in their direction all he's met with is silence.

 

They see each other again at lunch, and are able to snag seats next to each other. Despite some initial resistance, it seems his friends are starting to accept Baekhyun into their group now, and that makes Chanyeol more happy than anything. Hearing Baekhyun's stories of the LA coast, Chanyeol finds himself entranced by his lovely roommate.

 

Today, they shower at the same time. With other boys, Chanyeol feels no nerves at all, but suddenly today he's anxious beyond belief. There's no reason to be, though. Both of them keep their eyes to themselves, and the entire thing is wholly unremarkable.

 

It's the next day, however, that things start to crash and burn.

 

"Did you hear?" Sehun has wide eyes and a paler complexion than usual at breakfast the next morning. They had been early enough to get cutlery, since the kitchen always seems to be short these days, usually leaving them to eat with their hands. "They found Wu Yifan at the bottom of the clock tower stairs yesterday night while they were patrolling. Poor sod must've taken a fall - his back and most of his ribs were broken, and there was blood everywhere. He died on the way to hospital."

 

Now it's Chanyeol's turn for his eyes to grow wide. "Are you serious?" He had never liked the guy, but that doesn't mean he's about to rejoice over his death. After all, this is the closest Chanyeol's even been to a death as far as he can remember. "Why was he up at the clock tower anyway?"

 

"God knows. You know he was into all sorts of shady shit, Chanyeol. Probably had a hooch lab up there or something," Jongdae says.

 

Nodding, Chanyeol tries to recollect the last time he'd seen Yifan. It had been that debacle the day before yesterday, involving Baekhyun. The memory is so recent, so clear, it only makes the reality of the situation that much more surreal. He locks eyes with the boy across the table, who looks thoroughly troubled. Chanyeol attributes this to the death of a schoolmate so soon into his time at the school. Knowing the type of person Baekhyun is, he probably blames it on himself, even though that makes absolutely no sense. Chanyeol highly doubts Baekhyun is even capable of thinking ill of someone, regardless of what they've done to him.

 

"Hey," he says when he sees him in their room that night, after not sharing any lessons that day either. Baekhyun was nowhere to be seen at lunch, and Chanyeol thinks maybe this is something to do with some misplaced sense of guilt. "You okay?"

 

"Yeah it's just- yeah." Baekhyun spreads his hands over his thighs, which are only partially covered by his short shorts. "It's just, when he said that stuff to me, I thought some pretty horrible things about him. But I never wanted him to die, Yeol." He shifts, uneasy, so Chanyeol takes the seat next to him. "I wanted him and people like him to disappear from my life, and I got my wish."

 

"Hey, don't be silly. If anyone had to go through what you did, they'd want the same," he cautiously rubs Baekhyun's left shoulder, trying to communicate sympathy. It's difficult, especially when Baekhyun turns to him with sparking eyes, raising the hair on his skin.

 

"You're always there for me, Chanyeol," he leans his head against Chanyeol's hand before he can move it away. "Thank you."

 

Chanyeol doesn't say anything while Baekhyun continues to brush the soft skin of his cheek against the back of his hand. When the teacher calls for lights out they separate, but Baekhyun's warmth lingers on his knuckles still.

 

~

 

Yifan's funeral is held the following Sunday, outside the chapel incorporated into the school grounds. The Wu family, a tall set of people in pristine black attire, stay somehow motionless throughout the eulogies delivered by the headmistress, teachers and even a few pupils. From their reactions, they don't seem to be strangers to tragedy.

 

Chanyeol stands behind Baekhyun in their class assembly line. It's probably good for the latter that he's a shorter student, as Chanyeol fears he'd have a nervous breakdown upon seeing the coffin. Even without the sight, his shoulders keep shaking. He steadies him with his hands, and when Baekhyun glances back at him for a second, Chanyeol simply offers a reassuring smile.

 

~

 

It takes a while for things to go back to normal, more than a month, but they do. Aside from occasional mentions of Yifan at Sunday mass, as well as the flowers continually left at his grave, most things stay unchanged. The Wu family brought in a number of detectives to find the cause for their only child's death, but every investigation came up inconclusive. In the end, people came to believe it was an accident, and nothing more.

 

"Did you hear? St Sebastian's are having an open fair day tomorrow. Wanna go and see if we can score?" There's a piece of scrambled egg threatening to fall out of Jongdae's mouth as he rambles excitedly.

 

"Let me tell you now itself, you won't," Jongin rolls his eyes, almost done with his decidedly small breakfast. "But we can go if you wanna delude yourself into thinking any of those girls are in your league."

 

"Yeah yeah, we get it Casanova," he drawls before turning to Baekhyun and Chanyeol.

 

"I'd love to, but Kang dropped a mammoth of a lit essay on me and I think it's gonna take all my time from now until Monday," Baekhyun says easily.

 

"Sorry guys, same class, same essay. But go scope out some girls for me too," Chanyeol laughs, very aware of the fact that Baekhyun is showing no outward reaction to this, even as his spare hand lingers over Chanyeol's knee.

 

Jongdae whines, throwing his hands up slightly and causing a clatter of cutlery loud enough to draw the attention of a couple other students around them. "Jeez, when did I become friends with such squares? Whatever. More for me."

 

Once they've finished, and just before they get up to leave, Chanyeol feels Baekhyun squeeze his knee softly, just for a split second. But he does feel it, and Baekhyun knows.

 

They've been getting a lot closer lately, or rather, a lot touchier. When they work on projects together, Baekhyun's hand often finds its way travelling up Chanyeol's thigh. And Chanyeol can't deny that, in the few times he's hugged Baekhyun in what was meant to be a platonic way, his hands would find purchase at the bottom of his back, fingertips grazing just under where they ought to.

 

This Saturday is no different. They both enjoy working in front of the fire, the heat drying out their skin slightly as they write. Baekhyun casually throws a leg over Chanyeol's, toying with his foot absentmindedly.

 

There's a loud thud outside and Baekhyun startles, moving closer to Chanyeol in the process, their shoulders just touching. Chanyeol steals a glance at the very flustered Baekhyun for a millisecond before he too turns; putting them face to face, at a proximity they've never known.

 

Chanyeol feels Baekhyun's gaze roam to his lips, and so has fewer inhibitions about looking at Baekhyun's, before snapping back up to catch his stare. Baekhyun's eyes are warm like the glow of the fire reflecting off his pupils, and Chanyeol wants to savour this moment, to remember the shadows cast by Baekhyun's pretty eyelashes against his cheekbones as his lids droop closed. His breath tickles against Chanyeol's lips, sharp and saccharine on the exhale. A gentle "please" breaks the silence, and Chanyeol is at his mercy.

 

The kiss is cautious. Both keep their hands and their tongues to themselves, scared of making a wrong move somewhere. If they hadn't been separated when they were, this is probably how their first kiss would have gone, innocent and tentative behind the jungle gym in the playground.

 

"I like you, Chanyeol," Baekhyun speaks first afterwards, as always being better suited to follow-up these situations than his childhood friend. "Ever since I got here, something's been pulling me to you." He sits up onto his knees, holding Chanyeol captive with his focused glare and smooth hands on his shoulders. "At first I didn't know if that's because you were the only one I had when I was little. But with that kiss I think I realised, I don't think I ever forgot you." He grows more daring, shifting into Chanyeol's lap while his arms circle around his neck.

 

Chanyeol feels the breath catch in his throat and the hair raise on his skin. Despite the fire's incessant heat, Baekhyun's touch always feels so cold.

 

"I've had a lot of relationships in the time we haven't seen each other, Chanyeol. Some were bad, others were good. But I've never felt like this before, Yeol. Tell me you feel the same."

 

If Baekhyun listens closely enough, Chanyeol thinks, he would probably be able to hear his heart, pounding like a jackhammer against his ribs. If he hears, which he must, he doesn't react to it: instead waiting patiently for Chanyeol's answer.

 

But it's difficult, and Chanyeol has never been allowed to accept himself like this before; so, instead of replying with words that he is sure will fail him, he pulls Baekhyun closer to him, sealing it with a kiss.

 

~ 

 

After a rigorous rugby practice in the biting chill of winter, the boys of Year 12 pile into the changing rooms to get out of their grubby gear and back into their smart and tidy uniforms. This is when Baekhyun falls into trouble again.

 

"You absolute wuss. What was that out there? Instead of running the damn ball over the line and taking a few hits like a man you just let the others have it?" One of the bigger boys in the year, Hyunsik, shoves Baekhyun into the reflective metal lockers, the others jeering him on while the smaller framed boy winces in pain on the floor.

 

"Wow, the pussy sure is holding in his tears a lot more than he was on the field," another one of the gang, Jiho, leers before mockingly keeling over, loudly gasping and putting an invisible inhaler to his mouth.

 

Hearing the others' cheering only prompts them further. Hyunsik tugs at Baekhyun's hair, pulling his head back with such force that tears spring at the corners of his eyes. Jiho stands in front of him, smirking down at him. "Probably not the only thing you've choked on, huh,  _fag_?"

 

Baekhyun wants to fight back. He wants these guys to pay for what they're doing to him, for how they're making him feel; but they are simply stronger than him and there's nothing he can do to change that. And so, when Jiho pushes his clothed crotch in his face, he squeezes his eyes shut and waits for it to be over.

 

Except it doesn't start. One moment there's a crowd of obscene chanting, the next Jiho is on the floor across the other side of the room, and Hyunsik's rough grip on his hair is gone, replaced by Jongdae's supportive one on his arm. Out of the corner of his eye, Baekhyun sees Chanyeol, late out of practice and still in his rugby gear, push Hyunsik onto the floor too.

 

"What the fuck is wrong with you guys?" He yells, tips of his ears tinged red with anger. "You're all acting like bloody animals!"

 

Jiho rubs at his arm, where a small bruise is starting to form. "What's your deal, Park?" He yells back, before his eyes turn to slits. "Is he your personal fucktoy or something? Is that why you're so protective of him?"

 

There's a few lowly chuckles among them, but Chanyeol's deadly stare cuts them off. "Maybe in your own twisted fantasy, Woo." He looks to Baekhyun, who's watching him, pleading to him,  _please be careful_. "He's my best friend. And if either of you ever so much as lay a finger on him ever again know that I won't hold myself back next time."

 

"Lads, what's going on here," their coach finally makes an appearance, glancing between Chanyeol's angry stance, Baekhyun still on the ground behind him, and Jiho and Hyunsik slowly getting back up at the other side of the room. "I don't know what happened here but I'm keeping a close eye on all of you. Any more fighting and it'll be straight to the headmaster's office for all of you. Got that?"

 

Once the coach leaves, most of the boys soon follow. "Sorry guys, I have to go," Jongdae says to the last two remaining, Baekhyun and Chanyeol. "I have Chemistry next period and it's all the way across the building."

 

"No worries man. You go ahead," Chanyeol says, and Jongdae leaves with a sorry smile and a waved goodbye before hurrying out the door.

 

"Thank you," Baekhyun mumbles, and it's only then that Chanyeol realises he's crying.

 

"Hey, hey, stop that," he pulls him into his chest, feeling the tears soak through the fabric of his shirt, "I'm here now. It's okay."

 

Baekhyun shakes his head. "No. I can't keep depending on you all the time. I can't keep expecting you to turn up to save the day for me even if I want you to-" he stops, cheeks flushed a faint pink.

 

Chanyeol's grip on him softens. "It's okay, Baekhyun, I don't mind. I'd do anything to keep you safe and happy, by my own will too. It's what I want, okay?"

 

Baekhyun sniffles slightly before going lax. "Okay," he mutters against Chanyeol's ear, "but just stay here for right now."

 

~

 

"I can't believe we have to clean up the spinney, isn't that something the First Years should be doing?" Jongdae swings his litterpicker around in frustration, its metal claws catching on the trunk of a young new beech tree, only recently planted.

 

"We have major exams in a few months and this is what they have us doing instead of studying?" Sehun huffs in concurrence, picking a dropped chocolate wrapper off the ground and depositing it in his waste bag.

 

"I'm so done. Hey," he says, poking a loose school shoe lying on the ground. "Did someone leave this here?"

 

Sehun looks at it, questioningly. "Why would they? It looks new. Maybe it fell off someone's foot when they-"

 

"When they what? When they ran away from a big monster in the woods?" The shorter of the two laughs loudly when he sees Sehun's face pale. "You are honestly too much, Oh Sehun. Are you really being that much of a pussy right now?"

 

Sehun shakes his head, instead pointing in Jongdae's direction, but decidedly past him. Jongdae turns.

 

"Oh my god," he forces out in a strained whisper, before turning on his heels, grabbing Sehun's wrist as he flees the scene.

 

~

 

The headmaster's wrinkles run deep and he looks decidedly more tired than usual when he faces the assembly of the boys of the penultimate year.

 

"As you may have heard already, one of the young men of your year was found in the forest. Or rather, his body was found." Some of the jocks in the back of the hall tighten their jaws. "We would have assumed it was suicide, considering he had a troubled past and was," the man furrows his eyebrows in obvious discomfort, "found hanging from a tree branch by his rugby honours tie. But the death of Mr Wu earlier this year, combined with a series of what seem to be injuries afflicted by another person," he sends a cursory glance over the crowd, "has led the police to extend a wider enquiry into the suspected murders of Wu Yifan and Woo Jiho."

 

Chanyeol's eyes widen. He had assumed the other was ill or something, or otherwise avoiding him after their encounter, but it turned out he was involved in something so much bigger than Chanyeol could even try understanding.

 

"Did you know about this?" He whispers down his row. Baekhyun and Jongin shake their heads no, but Jongdae and Sehun stay deadly silent. "Guys, what the fuck?"

 

"The police are all working hard to try and find the perpetrator." The headmaster's low baritone breaks out over the silence again. "For the record, we are not accusing any of you. The post mortem showed the time of death as after 1am on Friday and all your rooms were locked under curfew rules at that time. There was no way any of you could've gotten out." He puts his hands together, almost pleading. "What I ask of you now is that you help the police with their investigation as much as you can. Obviously the crime scene is off-limits to you all at the moment, however there are photos and if any of you can explain any factors, please come forward. You will not be accused and you won't be a suspect." He holds his hands up - they're shaking. "I must warn you though, the photos are quite graphic so only come forward when you're ready. Otherwise, you can go."

 

As the boys file out of the hall, everyone is a bit more shaken, moreso than with Yifan's death, since everyone had assumed that that was just an accident; not to mention, this time it was one of their own classmates who'd been violently killed.

 

"Guys, why won't you say anything," Chanyeol turns to Jongdae and Sehun, anxiety rising up his neck. "You're freaking me out right now."

 

"We were the ones who found him, Chanyeol." Jongdae says, throat hoarse. "When we were on litterpick duty."

 

Chanyeol freezes, looking to Sehun, waiting for this to be a really twisted joke, but the punchline never comes. "Holy shit, guys, I'm sor-"

 

"You should see the photos, y'know." Jongdae steels. "You might have some information for the cops. I'm pretty sure one of the bruises on his shoulder was from when you pushed him over the other day."

 

Chanyeol stares at him, seeing something in his eyes he never had before. "Are you implying that  _I_  did this?" He looks at his friend in utter disbelief. "Over a petty little fight? What the fuck is wrong with you, Jongdae?"

 

The shortest throws his hands up in the air, in a mixture of frustration and defensiveness. "I don't know what I'm saying anymore, Chanyeol. When you see a real dead body up close you stop making sense sometimes. All I know is he crossed Byun and you're always acting like you're his damn bodyguard or something. Where is he anyway?"

 

"He just went to the bathroom. And look, Jongdae," he holds his friend by his shoulders, but the other feels too ashamed to meet his eyes. "How many years have you known me? The fact that you could even think I'd do something like that hurts like shit."

 

"I don't, Chanyeol, I really don't. I'm sorry." He pats Chanyeol's arms lightly. "It's just messed me up. And Sehun can barely even speak now. But you should still go see the photos, I think."

 

Chanyeol nods, before making his way out.

 

"I don't think he did it," Jongdae mutters to Sehun when Chanyeol's finally out of earshot; adding, when he sees a distraught looking Baekhyun coming out of the restroom, "But something's definitely going on."

 

~

 

The tie left a thin yet deep burn around Jiho's neck, and the final cause of death had been confirmed to be asphyxiation. But apart from this, there are several lacerations on the body, particularly around the arms, some up to a centimetre deep. Where there aren't cuts, there are bruises, heavy blows in blues and purples. The crotch of the jeans had been torn up messily, probably by the same knife that made the cuts. The weapon had been found there, but without any fingerprints. It's from the kitchens, and the catering staff are currently being interrogated individually.

 

Jongdae had been right, one of the bruises on the shoulder is a significantly different colour than the rest. Chanyeol owns up to this to the cops, but they barely follow through on it. "On the list of people who we suspect to want something from the Woo family, you're at the bottom of the list, son," the head officer had said, and this makes Chanyeol feel a little better.

 

"Did you see the photos?"

 

"Hm?" Baekhyun looks up at him from where he's packing his gym clothes. "Oh, yeah. But only barely. I tend to get nauseous if I look at things like that for too long."

 

After nodding slightly to himself, Chanyeol zips up his own bag, waiting for Baekhyun to be done before opening the door. Though it's already April it isn't yet warm enough for swimming; so rugby practice got extended to about another month, to the joy of some and the dismay of others.

 

"Hey guys," Jongin quips when he joins them in the corridor.

 

"Hey Jongin," Chanyeol says, Baekhyun just giving him a friendly smile. He vaguely remembers that Jongin's elder sister had been close to Jiho's brother, though the younger showed little more reaction to the incident than any other student. Noted, it had been almost three months since his body was discovered, and apart from a few of his closest friends, the majority of people have gotten over it. Even Jongdae seems closer to his usual self than before, and Sehun is finally speaking again.

 

The reputation of the school had taken a bit of a beating, with fewer people attending the open day than usual this year. In response to a few parents' threats of withdrawing their children, security had been upped somewhat, with CCTV installed everywhere but the dorm rooms, the bathrooms and the gym locker rooms. This had, at least, given the families some sense of security.

 

"It's weird for you to be ready this early Jongin, what's happening?" Chanyeol laughs slightly.

 

Jongin nods, rubbing the still evident sleep out of his eyes. "Coach Song cautioned me last time and said if I was late again this week I'd be stuck as a reserve for the rest of the season. No way that's gonna- God, what is that smell?"

 

As they approach the locker rooms, a strong odour lingering in the air catches their senses. It's slightly metallic, and has all the boys who are congregated outside the door holding their noses.

 

"Hey Park, could you help us out here? The door's jammed for some reason - we've almost got it open but we need another pair of strong hands," Minho says. Chanyeol nods and moves towards the door, hands flat against the wood. Everyone else stands behind the taller boys, waiting impatiently for this to be done with.

 

"In three, two, one, push!"

 

With a little resistance at first, the door finally swings open. The stench intensifies. "What the fuck," a voice says from behind a hand. Small drops of blood trail in a path down the entrance of the locker room, winding around the corner. Minho and Chanyeol are the first two to step forward.

 

"Oh my God."

 

A figure is half lying down on the ground, athletic in build, the view of his face obstructed from where it had been smashed into the front of the lockers. The neck lies at an odd angle, clearly having broken sometime during the attack. Blood, mostly dried but with some fresh spots here and there, pools around the body, a few drops streaking down the sides of the metal doors. A few broken teeth are scattered across the floor.

 

The boys move around the body slowly, each holding themselves back from gagging. "Hyunsik?" Chanyeol tries to say when he identifies the boy, but only a cracked whisper leaves his lips.

 

Somewhere in the background, Chanyeol hears someone retching. He recalls their earlier conversation and knows it must be Baekhyun; immediately, regret for not protecting him mixes with his growing fear.

 

~

 

"Sehun, I need to talk to you. Hey, listen to me," Jongdae says, catching him in the dorm hallway a few weeks after the discovery of Hyunsik's murder, and the subsequent lockdown of the school to outsiders except the police. "It's about what I was telling you earlier."

 

This grabs his attention. "You want to talk about this here?"

 

"Yes, it can't wait," Jongdae nods quickly. "You know how I told you about how Baekhyun had that fight with Jiho and Hyunsik? Well I asked around and some people in the year above said they'd seen Yifan hassle him a little while before he died too."

 

"So you're saying he did it? Have you seen him?"

 

"He's not as fragile as he makes himself out to be. You know how he said he used to do hapkido?" Sehun nods. "Turns out he was California state champion. He could easily beat us in a fight. So what I'm saying is-"

 

"You're talking about me?"

 

The two boys freeze, looking to the source of the voice. Baekhyun leans on the edge of the doorframe, just changed into his pyjamas, a soft smile on his face.

 

"Yeah I did pretty well I guess. I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want to make a big deal about it, y'know?" He rubs the back of his neck with his palm. "It gets annoying when people know that, they start asking you to perform for them all the time. So I'd like it if we could just keep this between us, hm?"

 

"S-sure thing," Jongdae says. "We'll keep it secret."

 

"Thanks," Baekhyun winks at them before stepping towards the bathroom. "By the way, if you want to try being the first to defeat me, I'm up for it. Hit me up, okay?"

 

After he leaves, Jongdae turns to Sehun with fear in his eyes. "We better start being extra careful from now on."

 

~

 

Ever since the last murder, Chanyeol can see that Baekhyun isn't the same as he used to be. He's getting thinner, his eyes setting deep with dark circles after several sleepless nights. The coincidence of the murders being in line with his own incidents has not escaped him, he's sure someone is doing this to mess with him, and Chanyeol would be lying if he said it hadn't affected him too; but keeps his own fear to himself, just to make sure Baekhyun's paranoia is kept at bay.

 

"I'm gonna shower. Come with me?"

 

They've been getting closer again after a period of no contact. At sundown, Baekhyun would crawl into bed with Chanyeol, by morning, he would wake up with love bites on his neck.

 

The warm water smacks against Chanyeol's back, ebbing around his shoulder blades. It's quite late at night: barely a footstep can be heard in the corridors. Baekhyun has his hands on Chanyeol's shoulders, kissing him as if his air depended on it. With his lips still moving, he starts to move his hands downwards.

 

The door swings open.

 

"Wh-" Sehun's sleepy eyes focus and then quickly widen. "You- He was right," he whispers before bolting in the opposite direction.

 

"Chanyeol, stop him!" Baekhyun yells. The taller boy, after a moment of shocked paralysis, pulls his clothes half on, skin still wet and sticking to the fabric, before running out.

 

~

 

"Sehun! Sehun, stop!" Chanyeol's shoes are slapping against the tiles by the side of the swimming pool.

 

"No- I don't want to be next, I don't-" Suddenly there's a loud splash as Sehun slips, falling into the water.

 

Chanyeol stops, stretching out a hand as he kneels by the side of the pool as Sehun weakly drags himself to the edge. "What the hell are you talking about? Come on, get out of there."

 

The boy's expression is still fearful. "Are you really not working with him?"

 

"What are you saying?" He furrows his eyebrows, taking Sehun by the hand as he sputters a little, face above the water.

 

"Isn't it obvious? He's the killer. Once could've been a coincidence but three times? Don't tell me you haven't even suspected it hyung."

 

Chanyeol's grip loosens, and Sehun falls back in unceremoniously. "Are you serious? Do you hear yourself? He's not that kind of person- he- he would never-"

 

"Hyung, I'm sure you like him and everything but we need to tell the police-"

 

"No!" The sound is ripped from Chanyeol's throat without him trying, and he finds himself pushing Sehun into the water by the shoulders, holding him down with such a force it's as if someone else is controlling his limbs.

 

"Hyung, stop! Hyu-" The boy yells before his mouth goes underwater. Chanyeol's eyes are blazing as he imagines how Baekhyun would be treated if they falsely accused him, the further torment he'd have to face where even Chanyeol could not protect him. Sehun splutters in the water, entire body writhing under the surface, but Chanyeol is working with a strength and determination he's never known in himself before.

 

Suddenly, flickers of something else come into his vision. A memory of an accident, long since repressed, begins to play. Chanyeol sees his own hands - ten years younger, not pushing down a friend but rather a childhood bully. Then, just as now, the boy's body had gone limp, face losing colour and Chanyeol knew it was over. Back in the present, Sehun's body floats in the water, and Chanyeol turns around.

 

"This really is deja vu, right Yeol?" Baekhyun smiles.

 

"Baek- Baek what did I do? Sehun's-"

 

"You don't remember? He was going to spill everything about us and about me to everyone. So you stopped him, to protect me. Just like you always do," Baekhyun takes a few steps towards Chanyeol but the taller takes just as many back.

 

Out of the corner of his eye, Chanyeol sees the face of the boy he spent the last few years of his life being friends with, cold and expressionless, eyes wide open but blank. He feels sick, unable to stop himself from throwing up onto the dirtied tiles.

 

"You threw up the first time too, y'know. You really haven't changed."

 

Chanyeol struggles to take a few breaths, then slams his eyes shut. "What are you talking about?"

 

"You really don't remember anything, huh. Of course you don't, I'm being silly." Chanyeol doesn't have to look up to know Baekhyun is smiling, he can hear it in his voice. "It was the whole reason we got separated, remember? That bully was giving me a hard time, so you stepped in and took care of it. The school hushed it up to avoid a scandal but I saw it all with my own eyes." He runs a hand through his hair, pushing his fringe off his face. "My parents were afraid for my safety so off we went to the States, and yours thought I was a bad influence and put you under all that therapy to make you forget about it, and then they sent you here. But I guess old habits die hard," he laughs.

 

The taller stares at him, mouth hanging open. "But I didn't want to- you forced me! How did you-"

 

"Hey. Everything you did was what your brain subconsciously wanted. My techniques only encouraged you to act them out."

 

Chanyeol closes his eyes, and a vague memory of a hypnosis book on Baekhyun's bookshelf flashes like lightning before them. When he tries to lift his hands to his temples to massage them calm, they're shaking terrifically.

 

"I'm surprised the cops didn't figure it out. I get that Yifan's case was a little ambiguous but Jiho's? They really ruled out all students as suspects because of a  _curfew_? I mean we're the only room with a fire escape, for Christ's sake."

 

Little sections of memory - making his way up the unmonitored clock tower, leaving the dorm through their window in the dead of night, creeping into the locker rooms - all appear to Chanyeol in succession, and it's all too much again. He throws up a second time, hands flat on the ground yet struggling to retain balance.

 

"It'll be summer in a few days, Chanyeol. They'll catch us soon at this rate, and I'd rather not make you kill one of your friends again." He sends a sympathetic glance in the direction of Sehun's body. "It's a pity, really. He was a good kid, I really did like him. It's a shame he had to come between our love like that."

 

"Whatever the fuck this is, this  _thing_  that we have, it's not love," Chanyeol manages to wheeze out. "Maybe it was once, but not anymore."

 

Baekhyun grins wryly. "If you didn’t love me, why would you go to such great lengths to protect me?” He cocks his head to the side. “I loved watching you. You wouldn’t even think twice about it, and it made me feel really safe and warm inside. A little fucked up, I know, but once you see it the first time it’s hard  _not_  to get hooked. And I know even now, you still don't want me to go to prison. I know that." He's staring at Chanyeol with a gaze more intense than he'd ever seen. "So run away with me, Chanyeol. I don't know what we'll do, but we can't stay here."

 

"You're crazy!" Chanyeol screams, eyes diverting to the floor to avoid the other's incessant stare.

 

"Maybe,” he hums. “But I'm not the one with multiple counts of murder on my hands, am I?" He walks towards Chanyeol, his face softening a little when he sees the taller's utterly hopeless expression. "Come on," he says softly, "Let's go. It'll be just the two of us again, just like how it used to be."

 

Chanyeol spends a while more staring after Sehun's corpse floating in the pool, and then thinking back to the life he had, the friends he knew, that would no doubt have to be forgotten from now on. So finally he gives up, tears in his eyes, and takes the hand that Baekhyun has offered.

 

~

 

After the discovery of the fourth body and the disappearance of two students, the school is on the verge of closing down. Parents are pulling their kids out left and right, and the school board will decide on the fate of the establishment by the end of the month.

 

Jongdae confides the information he knows to Jongin, many years after the school has officially been abandoned for good. "Why did you never tell the police?" Jongin asks him at the coffee shop his old friend had called him to meet at.

 

"I don't know. I don't think Sehun would have wanted that, if I'm honest." Jongdae takes a sip of his drink, warm in the chilly atmosphere of Seoul in winter. He had moved there immediately after the school shut down, desperate to be away from a place filled with memories of his lost friends. Jongin had stayed behind, and is starting a family now. He’s in the city to shop for baby clothes.

 

"I wonder where they are now," Jongin ponders. Jongdae has thought about this too, several times, but made it a point to never look into it. If those two wanted to be alone together, so be it.

 

The daily paper is laid across the table, and Jongdae flips through it casually, just something to keep his hands occupied. There's a spread on how to holiday in Italy, but the article is not what catches Jongdae's attention. "Hey Jongin, look at this," he says.

 

In the background of one of the photos, blurred slightly as they walked, two young Korean men are walking together, hand in hand. Though the photo isn't completely clear, the two could recognise their two old friends almost immediately.

 

Baekhyun looks the same as ever, still fresh-faced and happy, while Chanyeol's expression looks haggard, his eyes sunken from prolonged lack of sleep. It's obvious to Jongdae and Jongin that it's not healthy for him to stay with Baekhyun anymore, but they agree on never trying to intervene, nor even talk about the two again.

 

To try to separate the two is useless, they know that now: it’s as if trying to separate a man from his shadow.


End file.
